False starts

Thursday, 12 March 2015

I optimistically announced I was starting a blog just under a month ago. I'd had a run of 'good' ME days and managed to get my foggy brain around the basics of Blogger as well as having lots of ideas for future posts. I was really excited as this was the first project I'd been able to get my teeth into since becoming ill and felt a small sense of normality return.

Inconveniently the monster that is ME got in the way. With the wonders of heindsight I did far too much too soon, but it never feels that way at the time. With every physical or mental activity there comes the associated 'payback' and I was completely floored for a week or so. Nervous about recreating the situation I've been holding off until I felt I was in a good enough place to try again. 

This is the side of the illness I find the hardest to come to terms with. I like to plan ahead and ME leaves this an impossible task with fluctuations in symptoms on a daily, evenly hourly basis. I'm getting better at working out how I'll feel the next day from signs the day before but it is still a guessing game most of the time! I'm trying my hardest to avoid bouncing between good and bad days in a boom and bust cycle but it's easier said than done! On a good day who wouldn't want to go outside or pick up a book because for the first time in weeks you can? 

I realise now I approached this blog with my pre-illness head on. I had an outline of my first posts, when I was going to write them, the frequency I would post at etc. I felt the pressure (completely self inflicted!) to keep up with this and became a bit disheartened. Fast forward to now and you'll be pleased to hear I've completely reassessed. I started this blog as an outlet to talk about my illness so that's what I am going to do. Simple. When I have the spare energy to post I will, no big plan of action for the future, no expectations or pressure.

False starts and set backs might be disappointing at the time, but on reflection it's really promising that I feel like I have the energy to give something new a go. Progress is progress no matter how small!

J x


  1. I can completely relate to this post! I started my blog with the same mindset as you, and then quickly realised that it wasn't going to happen the way I had imagined it. I had to reassess the situation! I would say that blogging has got easier for me though over the months. As you get used to it, it takes less energy to write and publish posts even down to the adrenaline rush that you get when you first publish. At the beginning I found it more exhausting emotionally than anything else. It is a brave and scary thing to start a blog, so hopefully you will find that things get easier as time goes by. The best thing about this is that you didn't give up, so many people would. I have gone for 6 weeks without writing a blog post before, the key is to take your time. Don't rush yourself, and the key to sucsess is adaption (all the best people do it)... not that I would know about sucsess! 😛 Sorry for the long comment, Jenny


    1. Jenny thank you so much for your lovely comment! I recognise myself in a lot that you blog about as well :) sounds like excellent advice and I'm glad to hear it gets easier with time. Hopefully I'll be posting again soon! X

  2. Good idea... I write when an opinion forms in my head... then I might go quiet for ages. You have a clear "voice", I'm sure this will be an great blog. xx

    1. Hi Sally, thanks for your kind words! Fingerscrossed i'll have a bit more energy to blog soon x

  3. I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts!

    Lennae xxx


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